It all started innocently enough

The first time somebody officially asked me about my ambition and I seriously replied with full of enthusiasm to become a scientist was in 1978. Without much thought on the dark secret life of a scientist, that was exactly my answer. I was in standard two at SIS Kemaman, my first year at the primary school after the hijrah from SOS Dungun. The person who asked me that significant question which later influenced the way I think and shaped my future was the bubbly Cikgu Zubir.

At this point, I have to make it clear that my ambiguous decision to pursue that ambition however had nothing to do with the prospect of how many girls I could charm with that bombastic ambition nor that I could change all the zombies into productive monkeys. But it has all the reasons in this world to influence my future romantic journey which took precedence over my entire life.

Oblivious to me at first, that childhood ambition was actually the precursor that endlessly ignite the fire that flamed the greatest love story ever - "cinta monyet di menara gading". The flame never died ever since. As any other great love epic- among others, the place was one of the important settings for this romantic journey to take place. My feeling over the years, subconsciously evolved and influenced by my surrounding, which were diverse in their complexity, unique characters and major players.

1st phase : The setting

The sparkling new laboratory at the deserted new KUSZA campus marked its inaugural opening with load of enthusiasm by scientist wannabes. The first experiment we were asked to take on was on the exciting concept of endo and exothermic reaction of chemicals. As we were still very innocent, ignorance and careless - evidence from the naive faces in the photo, the idea of mixing chemicals that release or absorb energy was very alien and intimidating. The idea of courting and flirting with girls was also very alien and intimidating too. The natural surrounding dictated boys and girls should mind their own business. I hardly knew who were the backbencher girls in the laboratory or even in my class. They all looked very similar to me and I assumed they treated me the same. Teropong iman at that time was still in its infancy and under-developed.

That fateful day however, we saw one of our colleague at the end of the experiment had almost burnt down the whole laboratory (the one at the back who was seen seriously meddling with the Bunsen burner and he was also the one and only ardent fan of Eddie Lawson that I mentioned in the earlier entry - Dharma Kasuma). He lost his eyebrow as well.

My subsequent jihad to Bangi had presented me with a totally new perspective on life and a bigger laboratory to experiment with too. Suddenly the atmosphere had totally changed. Nothing seemed to dictate the way you dress, to whom you should talk to, where you should eat or even how long you could have your leisurely afternoon siesta and missed your important lecture. It seemed like a total anarchy. To survive one had to be strong and of course discipline.

I could not remember what experiment I was doing (in the photograph above) or what was the name of my project partner or in which lab the photo was taken because my mind was not focus as it should be. Luckily I managed to finish all the assignments, thanks to my project partner of whom I still could not remember his name. There were so many distractions. The only thing I remember was how excited I was and so looking forward to go to the biochemistry practical laboratory to do my assignment. For the first time, something had caught my eyes and motivated me to spent time doing my experiment obediently in that particular lab. For the first time I stayed focus. That laboratory was the perfect setting for some serious chemistry reaction to take place. It was irresistibly powerful and I am helpless. I blamed that on my puberty hormone. The jeling-jeling and senyum-senyum process started here.

I later also found out and realized that playing with fire in the biochemistry laboratory could be one hazardous endeavor especially if the fire is so big as what happened to my friend Dharma kasuma. Luckily I didn't loose my eyebrow. But over time I learned to control the flame and harnessed its affectionate power. Life was full of flowers and its smelled nice too. Flamed by unfamiliar but a pleasant feeling, that was the exact time when my teropong iman started to activate.

Ah...now that my mind is starting to focus a bit, I remember my poor partner was actually Dr. Asri of the RMC, the guy who endlessly broke the glass test tubes in order to prove that his hand was made of steel.



next stage : the chase