Auwwwww...No pun intended.

Have you ever wonder of late why there is a sudden surge of a new human breed among our population? I do. Neither this human extraordinaire is a newly developed species nor a mutant from the underworld. It is neither a chimeric of origin nor a product of laboratories blunder, but a silent evolution of our genetic makeover in direct respond to the ever changing environment and surrounding condition. In the One-Nation world this new insurgence of the one-of-its-kind inhabitant is popularly known as 'mat lembut'. Though lembut is sometimes a preferred quality (as in soft skin, soft spoken counter attendant, soft and comfy airport limo etc.) but in this case it tells a totally different story.

This abnormal phenomenon is quite a concern as the prevalence has become alarmingly high each years. I remember once while visiting my Alma mater last year for some academic endeavor. I was really taken aback by what I saw. I was greeted by the sweetest voice in the lecture hall by almost all graduates - boys and girls alike. I am not complaining about the girls as they are supposed to be sweet and gentle, but boys put up their hands for questions and attention just like a ballad dancer performing one of his/her masterpieces. On another very important occasion, I even got confused, fumbling nervously with the zipper when I visited a lavatory and almost step out apologizing profoundly for my mistake as I though I was trespassing in an uncharted territory. From time to time while having my quiet moment I heard a very familiar feminine giggle echoing from the next cubicles. But I was in the gentle-man lavatory alright sir.

Audience...Please! It is not my intention to belittle or make a mock out of this unique being. They are created equally important and with special purposes only God knows. But imagine if our future forces - our arm forces for example. What will happen if these forces of muscular entity one day penetrated and swarmed by these generation. Can we be honest for a moment. It is a joke of the century and outrageously going to be haywire. The classic Malay adage of 'bukan salah ibu mengandung' applies here though. The reason I will reveal later.

I have been cracking my wilting pinnacle and tickling my peanut-size brain on this issue for a while, searching for some light to satisfy my curiosity. We are talking about our future generation here. The generation that will spearhead our nation into the next challenging millennium. The image of our country is also at stake.

After months of preposterously looking for the elusive clue, I finally found what I thought to be the answer to this pertinent issue. The first clue comes from none other than a distant creature living in the river. Male fish in the UK river started to change their sexual appetite and become err....err....ah yes... lesbian. I am not making this up, seriously. This scary event took place somewhere in the UK (not Ulu Kelang) rivers and this interesting study was carried out by several UK universities and well published in a journal (The Journal of Environmental Health Perspectives). They singled out the culprit to this freaking phenomena was polluted underground water. The same source of water that we consumed daily.

Well, if you may ask what potent substance that had caused this unimaginable harm to that poor fella and single handedly changed the original assortment of human genome? The answer are female sex hormones (estrogens) and chemicals that mimic estrogen (which inhibit the function of the male hormones (testosterone) reducing fertility and propagating feminization in male). Scientists who conducted the research blame this particularly powerful form of estrogen in urine from the contraceptive pill, which is flushed through sewage works into the rivers and slowly sip through the female reproductive system. Over a long period of time, this exogenous hormone slowly alter the hormones balance while still in the fetus form.

So there you are ladies. For those who are currently using and actively engaging in the sperm-killing mission, Achtung bitte! When nature's call, a more thoughtful consideration from the fairer sex is very much appreciated. For the sake of our nation ladies, don't just simply do it anywhere and any place you like please.

Now at this point, I shall put down my pen, sit back and enjoy watching my all time favorite war movie of Shaving the Ryan's Private, while at the same time anxiously waiting for my female/male-feminist counterpart shave me bald.

Auwwww no...tak rela I. No pun intended sir.